SCARlingo2

Lurgified – This is an extension of the word “lurgy”. To have the lurgy is to either have a physical or mental illness; so you could have the flu, but you could also have “stupid brain”, which is what happens when you see a gorgey bloke and become “lurgified” – touched by the lurgy.

Merv/Mervert/Merving – Pervert, also, merving = looking at someone in a pervy way e.g – “Stop merving Johnny Depp!”

Mintage – Very cool

Mutti – Mother

Mandigan – A cardigan designed for a male. Also known as Mandy, Paul’s new nickname.

Nervy Spaz – Nervous spasm. Nearly the same as a nervy b. (nervous breakdown) or an F.T. (funny turn), only more spectacular on the physical side. Parce que – French for because, also a game where you poke someone in the stomach and shout “parce que!”

Pervy Paul: Span’s mandem!! Found in Dublin, frequents pubs and the RDS. Freaky Deaky eyes that stare you out and perve, not merve (Merving is fairly innocent, perving however is wrong!)! He is SCARY! Approach with caution if aged under 18! Also can be used as a reference to any creepy person i.e he is such a pervy paul! (Thankyou Span!)

Squid – In English currency a pound is called a quid. (I don’t know why, to be frank with you, but what I do know if that it is nothing to do with Harry Potter and quidditch, so don’t even go there.) Squid is the plural of quid, and I do know why that is. A bloke owed another bloke six pounds or six quid and he goes up to him with an octopus with one of his tentacles bandaged up, and he says, ‘Hello, mate, here’s the sick squid I owe you’. Do you see? Do you see?? Sick squid – six squid??? The marvellous juxtaposition of… Look, we just call pounds squids. Leave it at that. Try to get on with people.

Skeen/Skeenery – Seen, I understand what you are saying. More commonly used sarcastically, as a way of mocking the speaker, e.g. “Skeen *insert teacher’s name here” I quite will do that essay for you!”

Strop – A strop is number three on the famous ‘losing it’ scale. This is as follows:

  • minor tizz
  • complete tizz and to do
  • strop
  • a visit to Strop Central
  • FT (funny turn)
  • spazattack
  • complete ditherspaz
  • nervy b (nervous breakdown)
  • complete nervy b
  • ballisiticisimus

Top bombers/ Top bombing – Amazing, really good.

T- Rex – T-Rex, no not the scary dinosour from Jurassic Park that made me poo it at the cinema! But a woman who like the T-Rex has very short arms and very large boobs, breasts, nunga nunga’s etc. Thus impairing her ability to reach things with out knocking them over! (Again, thanks go to Span!)

Undercrackers – Now this is a vair amusing word meaning underpants. Or Unterhosen as it is in Lederhosen-a-gogo language – “Gott in Himmel! Ich habe ein Spangelferkel in my Unterhosen!!!” being a useful phrase to remember if you ever find a sausage in your undercrackers. Which you certainly will if you ever go to Lederhosen-a-gogo land and go camping with the Koch family – the big Kochs are absolutely obsessed with Spangelferkel, as we all unfortunately know.

Vair – Very

Vati – Father

Work Experience – I include this because I am speaking on behalf of the youth of Britain. He can’t speak for himself because he is too stupid. Anyway, whose idea was this? My vati’s probably. Teenagers who are innocently filling in time at school, you know, painting their nails, chatting and snoozing, etc. are forced to go to a shop or hospital ward or office or science lab and spend a week there, so that they know what it is like to work. As I have said many times to my mutti, I am far, far too busy to work. And anyway, I know what work is like: it is crap.

You must be having a tin bath!/giraffe!/Anything that rhymes with laugh! – You must be having a laugh, joking with me, taking the piss. :) (Thanks StiffiPlank!)

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